News Headlines That Pretty Much Say It All

[HouseCrowd]

Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance

n Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve

man... if this dude is right, you gotta feel bad for the poor men
they are choppin up their penor each time


He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

ohOh WAIT, does this mean guys cant buy cantalopes? peaches?? CHERRYS?!

Bizarre

And yet, no mention of Sausages. Surely they're the most phallic food of all?

[piglets222]

finally someone but me posts : )

but here i go again : )

Feds Tell Man To Stop Giving Away His Sperm for Free Online

ya'lls just gonna has to read the story on This headline

[HouseCrowd]

He probably couldn't give a toss if they stop him

finally someone but me posts : )

Can't speak for anyone else, but I always check out the stories you post ..... I just don't always have anything to post in response.

[Ratt]

Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

Don't the Amish have a similar rule about suggestively shaped pumpkins?
And oddly, when I looked up "Amish produce", there was no mention anywhere of corn cobs.

[piglets222]

Dad Tries To Sell His Son On Facebook For $20 Million

okies... my first thought


was he a virgin?

[piglets222]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/2 ... 43234.html

Man Divorces Wife Over Her 550 Cats

original site i saw the article >> http://jezebel.com/5913219/man-divorces ... r-550-cats
to bad there arent pictures... but im imagining the litterboxes...

[HouseCrowd]

Probably not the first time a couple have got divorced as a result of the husband seeing too much pussy.

[bmh67wa]

325 Dicks sell for AUD$20m

[HouseCrowd]

as it contributed just $20m profit on sales of $1.8b

Probably because of stiff competition.

[MrFredPFL]

and from the world of sports...

Dog Fister strikes out nine straight batters, sets a new American League record

[HouseCrowd]

[sunnyd]

Hogs Eat Their Farmer In Oregon

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-575 ... mostShared

Oregon authorities are investigating how a farmer was eaten by his hogs.

Terry Vance Garner, 69, never returned after he set out to feed his animals last Wednesday on his farm near the Oregon coast, the Coos County district attorney said Monday.

A family member found Garner's dentures and pieces of his body in the hog enclosure several hours later, but most of his remains had been consumed, District Attorney Paul Frasier said. Several of the hogs weighed 700 pounds or more.

It's possible Garner had a medical emergency, such as a heart attack, or was knocked over by the animals, then killed and eaten, Frasier said, adding that at least one hog had previously bitten Garner.

I really hope he passed away before being consumed.... and not that he was attacked and then consumed.

[sunnyd]

Oklahoma Man Charged With Killing Stepfather With 'Atomic Wedgie', Claims Self-Defense

http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/local_news ... lf-defense

A former marine is facing a murder charge for killing his stepfather with underwear, investigators say.

No mention of what brand, or type of underwear, but certainly whichever kind it was, had some definite stretch ability. Atomic Wedgie? That's got to be a new murder charge for sure.

[bmh67wa]

Darth Vader Is Running For President Of Ukraine

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/3 ... 62528.html

Ukraine will hold presidential elections on May 25, and among the field of candidates hoping to lead the country out of turmoil, there is Darth Vader.

The Ukrainian Internet Party (UIP) announced over the weekend that it would be fielding the Dark Lord of the Sith as a candidate, and according to a report by news agency Interfax they have paid the hefty registration fee estimated at around $225,000.

Wow, just wow.

[HouseCrowd]

[bmh67wa]

Dog Poo Forces Philly-Bound Flight to Make Emergency Landing

Twitter was abuzz Wednesday with pictures -- and complaints -- after a dog poo'd in the middle of a Philadelphia-bound flight, forcing an emergency landing.
Yes, you read right -- dog poop forced an emergency landing, according to passengers aboard US Airways Flight 598 from Los Angeles to Philadelphia. Those passengers took to Twitter to document the smelly ordeal.

[HouseCrowd]

Wow!

I didn't think animals where allowed in the cabin.

[bmh67wa]

Unfortunately a "service animal" can be brought on a plane. The unfortunate part is that with the way that the laws are written an elephant can be considered a service animal and we have to allow for them, no questions asked. I'm really hoping that more incidents like this happen so someone will get their heads out of their asses and re-write the law.

Read this - http://www.ada.gov/qasrvc.htm - and shake your head. While I'm all for service animals for those in need the system has been abused and unless the laws are changed the rest of us have to suffer for it. I had a former boss who owned and had just remodeled his small motel. A lady with her "service dog" stayed there and all the dog did was annoy neighbors with its barking and howling and it pooped and peed all over the new carpet AND THE BED. This was obviously just a pet and not a trained service animal but the laws protected her and my boss couldn't charge her for the damage or do anything else about it when the neighboring people in their rooms complained about the noise because he had a no-pets policy so there were nothing in his rules covering damage made by a renter's animal. Even the police were called and they said that it was a very touchy situation but the laws were on her side. If I wanted to I could get a service alligator and there isn't anything anyone can do about it.

[MrFredPFL]

from your own link:

7. Q: Can I charge a maintenance or cleaning fee for customers who bring service animals into my business?


A: No. Neither a deposit nor a surcharge may be imposed on an individual with a disability as a condition to allowing a service animal to accompany the individual with a disability, even if deposits are routinely required for pets. However, a public accommodation may charge its customers with disabilities if a service animal causes damage so long as it is the regular practice of the entity to charge non-disabled customers for the same types of damages. For example, a hotel can charge a guest with a disability for the cost of repairing or cleaning furniture damaged by a service animal if it is the hotel's policy to charge when non-disabled guests cause such damage.

[bmh67wa]

Unfortunately one of her other tricks was to pay in cash and when there's a cop standing in your face who is just as confused about the law as everyone else was other than him repeating "the law is on her side" over and over there wasn't much that could be done at that time. It was the first time someone had pulled that on him and I'm thinking that the woman gets away with it all of the time. The owner originally tried to tell her that he couldn't rent the room to her because of her pet and she produced a large stack of paperwork out of her purse with laws about service animals printed on them and a threat to call the police if no one let her and her dog stay. It was a bad experience overall and I hope she gets what's coming to her someday.

[HouseCrowd]

Michigan woman blames zoo for losing a finger when she tried to pet a caged lion

Michigan woman says she'll sue a zoo for not taking enough steps to protect her after she had a bit of her right, middle finger bit off while trying to pet a lion.

Yeah, 'coz lions are known for their tame and docile nature. Who would've expected it!?

[sunnyd]

Funeral Home Offers Drive-Thru Viewing

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/car ... /15693543/

A funeral home here has just added an unusual new convenience for mourners — a drive-thru viewing window.

The Saginaw News reports Paradise Funeral Chapel has installed a window that displays a body set up in a special area inside the building with a raised and tilted platform for the casket.

Curtains over the window automatically open when a car pulls up, and mourners get three minutes to view a body as music plays overhead.

In this article about it....
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/consume ... me-n204501
The owner claims he "was inspired to install a drive-thru lane for guests when one woman was unable to attend her own husband’s funeral because she could not walk to the home."

Say WUT? ... because the woman never asked for help, or nobody ever heard of wheelchairs? I call BS on that, and I think the owner made up his OWN story to try and sell the public on the idea.

WTF, music is played overhead but there is no button to push for a choice of prayers to hear? smh

Lame idea, really lame. What bothers me the most is that the owner is playing on sympathy for disabled people to appeal to the public. And yes, I know there are many people who dislike viewing the deceased in funeral homes, but a drive-thru? Seriously?

[bmh67wa]

Florida woman has surgery to add third breast to make herself 'unatttractive to men'

WTF?

[sunnyd]

Here's perhaps a bit more of the real explanation....

Woman Adds Third Breast by Undergoing Surgery To Participate In Reality Show

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/woman-adds-thi ... ow-1466531

In order to become a reality star, a woman from Florida underwent an expensive surgery to implant a third breast on her chest.

Massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil (not her real name) decided to take the extreme step as she wants her own reality show on MTV, the 9 News reported.

Tridevil reportedly spent $20,000 to have a third breast. The procedure was done a few months ago and the extra breast was constructed with silicone implants and skin tissues taken from her abdomen, the website reported.

However, Tridevil's doctors could not create an artificial areola, which she managed on her own by tattooing it.

Video from 9 News: http://www.9news.com.au/world/2014/09/2 ... ird-breast

[bmh67wa]

Now many sites are reporting it as possibly being fake by saying that her skin tone is off and the bikini top she is wearing is designed to look like she has a third breast. Either way it has made for a funny headline.

And you know that if this story is true and they find out who the doctor is that performed the surgery he's going to be in a world of hurt from everyone calling him an idiot for obviously taking advantage of a mentally ill woman willing to mutilate her body. It definitely is far from moral and I question the legality as well.

"I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don't want to date anymore," she said.

What ever happened to just saying "no"?

I also question this statement...

The surgeon was not able to make an artificial areola

They are made for breast cancer patients all of the time, with and without using the original. Why would this woman be any different?