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Postby Assyrian » Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:09 pm

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away.
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Postby P2P_G » Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:32 am

haha Assyrian ^^

1. Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are more than enough!

2. No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

3. Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun.

4. Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.

5. Alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who is in a hurry?

6. Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!

7. God made relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends!

8. Can you do anything that other people can't? Sure, I can read my handwriting!

9. Do you know of an Indian who parked his car in front of a board which said: FINE FOR PARKING ?

10. A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began,"you've been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed,"When do we get started?"

11. Whom are you working for? Same people. My wife and four kids.

12. I heard you have a cat that can say her own name.Yes, Meow.

13. Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.

14. When a wife was asked,"What book do you like best?" she answers:"My husband's cheque book."

15. Girlfriend:"And are you sure you love me and noone else?" Boyfriend: "Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."

16. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colours do you have?

17. My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

18. Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love!

19. Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No, sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

20. Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much, Dad, just a radio with a sports car around it!
Piracy Will Never Die.
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Postby piglets222 » Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:50 am

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute".
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Postby P2P_G » Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:42 am

piglets222 wrote:Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute".


hahaha ^^
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Postby piglets222 » Fri Jun 08, 2007 6:08 pm

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.

Below is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to........


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Postby HouseCrowd » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:11 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby bluebird » Sat Jun 09, 2007 10:03 am

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A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby piglets222 » Tue Oct 16, 2007 6:28 pm

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby multivariable » Fri Nov 09, 2007 5:56 pm

Family had been on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and 15 year old son decided to go scuba diving. Husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience. Son wanted a pic of mum and dad in all their gear so got the underwater camera on the go. When it came to taking the pic the dad realised that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it, and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was alright. The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quickly as he could, so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely shitting himself. When the parents asked why he said "there was a shark behind you" and the dad thought he was joking, but the skipper of the boat said it was true and that they wouldn't believe him if he told them what it was. As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop and this is what they saw:
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby Fartingbob » Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:55 am

If that photo is genuine then its one of the funniest / "holy shit!" photos ive seen. But something just seems to suggest that its not real. That shark is frickin huge and seems to be heading straight for them.
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Postby MrFredPFL » Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:09 pm

i'd bet money it's fake.
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby HouseCrowd » Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:29 pm

I figured it must be too (The picture's very good, but the story is a little suspect) .... so I looked it up:

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/b ... _shark.htm

The image that inspired this work of fiction is a collage created by Worth1000.com member R. J. Mataleone for a Photoshop contest on the theme "Vacation Bloopers." Nicely done.


Nice work though!
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby sunnyd » Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:04 pm

Image

multivariable wrote:
piglets222 wrote:
...but we really dont have a funny picture thread (that I found, that was active and was not yrs old???)

viewtopic.php?p=436210#p436210

i am SoooOoooooOooO NOT going to be teh one to bump a two yr old thread >.<


There piglets, I opened the door again, (in case we need this, now it's not 2 yrs old), lol. :wink:
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby Hypnotoad » Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:25 am

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby HouseCrowd » Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:34 am

How to wipe your HDD clean ....






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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby sunnyd » Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:59 pm

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby piglets222 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:55 pm

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby sunnyd » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:58 pm

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby piglets222 » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:12 am

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Last edited by multivariable on Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: resized the image to fit
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby HouseCrowd » Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:10 am

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There are 10 types of people in the World; those who understand binary, and those who do not.
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby bmh67wa » Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:54 am

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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

zbeast wrote:80's porn is so strange big hair and lazy humping.
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby Hypnotoad » Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:38 am

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby sunnyd » Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:29 pm

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lol, I don't have any cats, but lately I seem to be seeing a ton of funny (cute) cat pictures.
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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby piglets222 » Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:11 pm

Last edited by multivariable on Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: resized the image to fit


sorry mr mod person... i saw that it lapped over, but since teh comic tagline fit... i thought it was fine??

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Re: Funny jokes/images

Postby multivariable » Sun Jul 12, 2009 8:30 pm

piglets222 wrote:sorry mr mod person... i saw that it lapped over, but since teh comic tagline fit... i thought it was fine??

i suppose it was fine, but i'm one of those annoying OCD bastards that would straighten all the pictures on your walls if i came to visit. :wink:
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